I have heard so many times from so many people how intimidating I am or how confident I appear to be. Little did they know that I had been suffering from low self esteem for about half my life. I was never pretty enough. There was always someone smarter. Everywhere I went, someone was better. Now that I am in a much better place, I am here to give you 5 ways to overcome low self-esteem.
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.” Maxwell Maltz
Discover Your Worth
Going through all the self-esteem issues that I had going on a few years ago, the best advice I ever got was “Discover your worth.” My version of this is “Discover your worth, and constantly remind yourself of it.” You are worthy. You are needed. Believe that.
One day, sit down and make a list of all the positive aspects of your personality. Also, think of anytime that you have made someone else smile or given a helping hand. Dwell on those thoughts. If you weren’t around, that smile wouldn’t have happened. Had you not been there, there would have been no-one to help out.
You make a difference in the world. Trust me, you do. I never thought that anyone really cared that I existed, but they do. Most importantly, I do. God does. Your family does. Also remember that you are unique and it’s okay if not everyone understands who you are and what you have to offer this world. What I will tell you is that those people who matter WILL get you.
If necessary, give yourself a pep talk each morning. Remind yourself that you are beautiful. You are strong. Your intelligence makes a difference and your eyebrows are on fleek. So go out there and SLAY!
Stand Up For Yourself
Have you ever been that person who, when anyone says something about you that you don’t like, you just sit there and remain silent? Has there ever been a situation where you earnestly wanted to speak up and didn’t? Why do you think that is? Stop for a moment and think. Maybe it’s because you didn’t believe in the value of your voice or your opinion. I’m here to tell you that you need to stand up for yourself. You need to let your voice be heard.
Every time you are among friends or at a gathering and someone starts a conversation you really don’t want to be a part of, excuse yourself. That’s right. Do not take part in cruel conversations or conversations that will do nothing but bring you down. Furthermore, if those “friends” are always having the same conversations time and time again, maybe you should remove those people from your lives as they will do nothing for your self esteem.
In the spirit of not taking part in cruel conversations, I encourage you not to let others take advantage of you. Right up until the 9th grade in high school, I allowed myself to be a doormat. Whenever anyone wanted anything to be done, or needed an errand girl, I was that girl. When I finally stopped letting everyone walk all over me, it made such a world of a difference.
Find Your Sense Of Style
Do you have that one outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks? Is there a particular colour you enjoy wearing? No? Maybe you need to discover your unique sense of style and own it. If you love bohemian outfits or preppy suits, wear them with pride. Once you do discover your style, I encourage you to wear it with pride.
Be okay with creating your own path in the fashion world and it will translate into other aspects of your life. The more confident you become in your skin, the more confidence you will exude in the way you carry yourself. When you carry yourself with confidence and pride, the world will stop and take notice.
At the core of it all I am hoping that you will become more okay with being different and not care about what others think of you. When I moved to Japan I was as different from everyone else here as day is to night. The sooner I became okay with being unique and started expressing that in the way I dressed and carried myself, the less I started caring about others opinions. If you think I’m gorgeous, that’s super sweet of you and if you think I look like a troll, I’ve always heard they have great hair so win-win!
Invest In Yourself
Investing in yourself is one of the most effective ways for you to overcome low self-esteem. Speaking from experience, when I started looking into advancing my education and increasing my skill level, that is when my self-esteem really began to improve.
After the disaster that was my last relationship, my self-esteem was at an all time low. I felt as worthless as a can of garbage. I had to make the conscious decision to spend less time focusing on the negative aspects of what happened, and more time focusing on what I needed to do for my future.
Some ways you can invest in yourself are:
- Getting a makeover. Buy some new shoes or a new haircut. Play around with a few styles.
- Continuing your education whether it be completing college or pursuing a graduate degree. The sky is the limit.
- Learn new skills such as a new language (I’m learning Japanese) or get a hobby you love such as painting.
- Exercising and getting into shape
- Making a mood board that will keep you inspired as you pursue your dreams
Spring Clean Your Life
I mentioned in an earlier blog post that an important life lesson you will learn is that you need to rid yourself of toxic people. I believe that the same applies to persons suffering from low self-esteem. This is because a lot of the times, the people who contribute to that low self-esteem are “friends.” Those “friends”, however, are not worth your sanity and not worth your time. Spring cleaning your life of those toxic people will be one of the biggest if not THE biggest step to overcoming low self-esteem.
On the heels of spring cleaning your life, surrounding yourself with positive people who bring out the best in you is worth it. Find persons who make you smile and remind you of just how awesome you really are. While you’re at it clean up your living space. Studies have shown that clutter and low self- esteem are correlated as they both reflect how you view yourself.
Here’s an idea. Take an ordinary mason jar and label it “Negativity.” The next time you are experiencing any sort of negative thoughts or emotions, write them down and put them into the jar. At the end of the week, burn all the pieces of paper. Replace the mason jar, rinse and repeat. This symbolizes that you are ridding yourself of those things that don’t matter such as those negative thoughts.
So there you have it. I have listed 5 ways to overcome low self-esteem and I encourage you to try them out.
If you are suffering from low self-esteem, feel free to contact me and we can have a one on one.
Take it from someone who’s been there, the world would be a much darker place if you weren’t around so don’t allow anyone to dim your light.
My last posts are linked below. Be sure to check them out as well:
Also, let me know, have you ever suffered from low self-esteem? If so, how did you handle it? Did any of them make the list? Comment below. Please also like and share this post, as well as support me on all my social media.
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Until next time. Peace, love and prayers.