Why You Should Focus On Yourself & Get Out Of The Comparison Trap

Why You Should Focus On Yourself & Get Out Of The Comparison Trap

It’s kinda funny to me, to be honest. I started today writing a completely different post and somehow ended up here. This week has been particularly hard because I have been struggling with this little issue known as the comparison trap. This mindset has greatly crippled my motivation and on more than one occasion, I almost broke down in tears because I felt like what I’ve been doing this entire time just wasn’t good enough. In my heart I know that’s not true and it took a little while but I now understand why you should focus on yourself and get out of the comparison trap.

” A flower does not think of competing with the next flower. It just blooms.” Zen Shin

Why You Should Focus On Yourself

Why You Should Focus On Yourself- Comparison Steals Your Joy

 

COMPARISON STEALS YOUR JOY

If you constantly compare your life, your worth and your success to others, you will never be happy. The main factor that affects our happiness is being contented with who we are and where we are in life.

I started this entire journey less than six months ago, and although I love reading about other people’s success, I couldn’t help but wonder.

Why wasn’t I as successful as they were and why wasn’t I working with the top brands and doing the bomb photoshoots?

Little by little I realized that this wasn’t fun anymore. The more posts I wrote and the less traffic that came to my blog, the less joyful I felt.

Slowly, I began to realize that I was losing my joy in not just blogging but other areas of my life. It felt like it was overtaking my life.

 

INNER PEACE

“Don’t let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.” I should get this printed on a million t-shirts and give it out to everyone; just walk up to random people on the street and leave them a gift.

Did you know that one of the biggest yearnings of the human soul is the desire to find inner peace? Have you ever wondered why though, that so many people DON’T have inner peace?

Among the many reasons, comparison is right up there. The more we compare ourselves and our lives to others, the more envy, low self-esteem and low self-confidence we produce.

As hard as this is for me to type, I’ve gone through all of these and the main reason is that I spent 90% of my time comparing my curves (or lack thereof), hair and everything else to someone I thought was better than me.

Learn to be happy with who you are and stop devaluing yourself and your worth; killing your inner peace in the process.

 

IT KEEPS YOU DEFEATED

A fantastic part of being human is that we try new things, succeed and maybe fail. What’s even better is that we get back after our failures and we try again.

There are no limits to what we can do until we start comparing our journey to someone else’s. Focus on yourself and keep getting up when you fall.

I am not a perfect person, and I’ve had my fair shares of ups and downs, and I really hate being raw about my feelings but I feel like you guys need to see that behind every smile there’s someone who has struggled.

There’s someone who has been seemingly defeated many times but still never gave up through it all.

I am a Christian and I love how funny God is at times. Whenever I need a dose of encouragement He’s sure to send it my way.

I remember when I was working on a video and felt super discouraged that I wasn’t getting more views, and literally, the next minute I got an email saying I had won a video contest I’d entered the year before.

 

YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST

In life, no matter how long you work or how hard you try, you will never be better than everyone in every area of your life. Lemme repeat that.

It is impossible to be better, stronger, faster than every single person you’ve ever come across.

When you focus on yourself, you don’t fall into the trap of already losing the race before you’ve even entered it.

So many of us do this to ourselves every single day and it needs to stop. The blogging sphere, for example, is supersaturated and it can be incredibly difficult to stand out in a sea of voices.

Don’t let this prevent you from trying. Whether you’re a blogger, doctor or a chef, don’t compare your journey to others.

If you do, you will only be setting yourself up to fail because in your mind you’ll never be as successful, as glamorous, or as popular.

 

Why You Should Focus On Yourself & Get Out Of The Comparison Trap

 

YOU DON’T KNOW THE FULL STORY

Isn’t this the truth, though? I spoke about in a previous post that so many bloggers love to share how much money they make per month but are never able to show you proof or are so vague about their methods, they leave you with more questions than answers.

Honestly, though this happens so much in every single area of life. I remember, when I was feeling super demotivated and indecisive of whether I should continue blogging or not, skimming through an ad on Facebook.

An influence, I will call her Tru, was advertising about how she changed her hobby into a career and was inviting others to do it through a series of simple steps that anyone could do in an hour or two a day.

The nitty-gritty that she left out though is that it takes a lot of work and dedication to build a successful blog.

Blogging is more than taking pictures and writing cute posts about your coffee. It takes extensive research and marketing time, but eh, I digress.

The point I’m trying to make is you don’t live with the person you’re comparing yourself to, and even if you do, you’re not in their heads.

So you really don’t know what goes on behind the scenes of their success.

 

Get Out Of The Comparison Trap

No matter what anyone tells you, comparison never has the intended effect you think it will. There is no such thing as a good or bad comparison in my eyes.

I learned this the hard way. The only time I’ll ever think of comparing is if I’m thrift shopping and need to look at two sweaters to decide which one I like better or I’m writing an essay about two books in school.

The point is that no-one and nothing compares to you to focus on yourself, will ya? Focus on the things you’re great at.

Keep your eyes on the prize at the end of the line and keep going. I keep on keeping on and I won’t stop till I finish the race so neither should you!


If you enjoyed reading about why you should focus on yourself and get out of the comparison trap, then you will enjoy the extended list of 3 steps to increase your self-confidence!

Also, let me know. Have you been struggling with comparing yourself to others? Do you find it hard to focus on yourself? I love reading your comments and hearing your thoughts so please comment down below. Also if you have any questions feel free to ask me them in the comment section below. Please also like and share this post and sign up so you never miss a thing!

Until next time.

Peace, love and prayers.

how to stop comparing yourself. why you should stop comparing yourself
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10 Comments

  1. April 22, 2018 / 6:51 AM

    Comparison can have such a negative effect, and it’s crazy because it’s all in our heads!

    • April 22, 2018 / 12:06 PM

      That is so true. We imagine that our life would be better if we were like X person

  2. July 6, 2018 / 1:21 PM

    I really needed to read this! Thank you

  3. Lacey
    July 30, 2018 / 12:43 PM

    So much truth to this! I am so guilty myself, and it does take a toll on a person. I have been trying so hard not to compare myself to anyone, I have resorted to a social media detox and it has helped! It was very hard at first, but you find other things to do and it gets easier!

    • August 7, 2018 / 9:52 PM

      Yes girl! Comparison is not worth it. It steals everything from you and doing that social media detox is so important!

  4. August 15, 2018 / 2:44 AM

    I have fallen into the comparison trap several times and I know we all can relate on how social media simply enhances that feeling of comparison. Thanks for your honesty and writing this blog so that I can remember I am enough, and I need to be confident, rather than letting that negative loop of self-criticism gain too much traction. I find taking a step back and reminding myself of my own strengths, is a practice I need to make sure I revisit on a more consistent basis. I especially liked your line about never being better than others in every single area of my life; frankly, why does our culture obsess and focus so much on being the best at everything? It’s good to achieve, but it’s so true that if we aren’t appreciating where we’re currently at, and celebrate the progress we’ve made so far, we won’t be able to effectively leave space for that next best opportunity for ourselves (speaking from my own experience). Cheers! Happy Tuesday!

    • August 15, 2018 / 11:18 AM

      Thank you so much for your honesty and nakedness when it comes to this topic. This was honestly something I struggled with for far too long because it’s what we’re taught growing up. We’re taught that we need to compare because if we don’t then we can never succeed but you know what? Who cares about what others are doing? Our journeys are all unique and we will never take the exact route that someone else has taken and that makes us amazing! Keep loving yourself and reminding yourself that no one else is you and that my friend is your power.

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