As long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be married and have babies. That, I was told, was the key to being happy and the key to becoming a fulfilled woman. The idea that anyone can be single and happy these days can seem a bit foreign because by a certain age we’re told that it’s time to settle down and it’s time to get married. But what if you haven’t found the right person yet? What if you just don’t want to be married? In this blog post, I’m giving you seven simple yet highly doable steps to help you be single and happy at the same time!
“If you aren’t happy single then you won’t be happy taken. Happiness comes from within, not other people.”
How Can I Enjoy Being Single And Happy?
1. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
Learning to love yourself can be hard. It is one thing to have someone else tell you they love you or tell you how beautiful you are. It’s a whole other thing for you to believe those words and say them to yourself.
I have been single for four years and that means that I have had four long years to really sit down and think about a few things. The longer I’ve been single, I have come to realize that my happiness was based on what other people thought of me.
Joy and inner peace, I thought, came from the validation I would receive from other people and their affection. As a 28-year-old woman now entering her purpose, I can see where that outdated definition of self-love came from.
As a child, I never felt beautiful. I was confident but I never thought anyone would love me because my eyebrows never behaved, I was “big-boned” and a lot taller than other girls my age. Plus I was hopelessly awkward.
Being single doesn't mean that you know nothing about love. It means that you're discovering more and more things to love about yourself. Click To Tweet
This lack of self-love and confidence then led me to date guys who I thought would make me feel more beautiful, instead of learning how to love and accept everything that made me unique. This happens to so many men and women especially in the age of social media that we live in.
Being single and happy, for me, means understanding the true meaning of self-love and realizing that I would rather be alone than be with someone just to feel good.
When you embrace yourself, flaws and all, you slowly come to realize just how wonderful you really are. You learn to love the weird way your ears stick out at the side, and be happy that you will never miss a thing being said to you.
Embrace how broad your shoulders are and be grateful you’ll never need shoulder pads. Solitude gives you the space to grow to love yourself without the influence of outside voices.
Being single doesn’t mean that you know nothing about love. It means that you’re discovering more and more things to love about yourself.
2. FIND A HOBBY YOU LOVE
Who doesn’t love a good hobby? Hobbies are a great way to engage in something you enjoy instead of thinking about the fact that you’re not dating at the moment.
There is so much more to having a hobby than simply playing with yarn. Having the right hobby not only enriches your life, it is also an amazing way to try new experiences and learn new skills.
For many people, being single means that they have more time on their hands. This gives them the unique opportunity to explore other sides of themselves that they never knew existed.
As a happy single, I have discovered that I love creating online content that helps others, I can design, illustrate and sew garments from scratch plus I’m not half bad at Hula Dancing.
The possibilities for what you can do during your spare time are limitless. Hobbies also eradicate boredom and are a great way to build your confidence and self-esteem.
So while you have the time, come up with a few (or a lot of) activities you’ve always wanted to try but never got the chance. Now is as good a time as any to stretch your legs and yourself.
George Matthew Allen once said, “People with many interests live, not only the longest but the happiest.”
3. GO OUT BY YOURSELF
I admit that I love a good excuse to dress up and go out. There is no more satisfying a feeling than dressing up in my best outfit and getting all dolled up just to hang out with myself.
Society seems to enjoy telling us that the only way single people can have fun is to hang around other single people but this is not true at all. The ability to go to the movies and laugh as loudly as you want to or going to a buffet, and pigging out all night is one of the best parts of being a happy single.
People might see you do this multiple times and they might even judge you for it, but so what? Are you really going to let someone else’s opinion ruin the amazingness that is sitting in a Starbucks enjoying their free Wi-Fi while you sip on a latte?
I didn’t think so!
Instead of spending your Friday and Saturday nights at home on the couch alone, watching reruns of The Good Place, grab your coat and some heels, and get your butt out there.
It doesn’t have to be expensive either. You can have fun while getting an ice cream from the seller down the street.
Taking a walk in the park or going to a late movie can also be inexpensive ways to venture out into your local community and get your butt out of the house at the same time.
Whatever you enjoyed doing in your previous relationship can also be enjoyed while riding solo. So don’t be afraid. Grab your best pants or your best wedges and go for it.
4. TRAVEL SOLO
Throughout the past two years, I’ve discovered that one of the biggest pros of being single is that I can pack up and go wherever I want, whenever I want. I have truly never felt so free!
Travelling solo is the one piece of advice I will forever give my single brothers and sisters because it is such an amazing way to grow as a person. After my marriage ended and left a gaping hole in my heart, I thought I’d ever have a normal life or be happy again.
After having travelled to quite a few places in and around Japan, I can now laugh at that immature and naive mindset.
Through my travels, I have discovered how brave, strong and resourceful I am. I have also come to realize that I really prefer, for the most part, to travel solo.
Travelling solo is scary and wonderful and confusing; all at the same time and I love it. You have a unique advantage as a single person because you might not have children or anyone preventing you from travelling.
As you learn how to be happy alone, you’ll realize the opportunities that exist within solo travel. I even know amazing, single moms who travel with their kids.
You never know! The world is your buffet. Come and get it.
5. MEET OTHER SINGLES
When you are single, it is often tempting to believe that you are in this by yourself. It’s like regardless of all the friends and coworkers we have who have been single for like a million years, our brain tells us that we’re alone.
I struggled with this limiting belief for months before I realized that it was holding me back from enjoying my singleness. Please don’t waste your time harbouring these ridiculous thoughts.
In every city, at any given time, there are thousands of singles walking around, living their lives and breathing. Yes, you heard it right here. You are one of many.
We’re now seeing an increase in the number of happy singles because many are choosing to marry later in life after getting their education and careers in order.
A great benefit of the increase in singles has been the introduction of “Meet Up” groups. These groups are normally categorized by interests and hobbies, such as Art, Reading or Photography.
You’re then able to filter by category and meet some fantastic people who you might never have encountered otherwise. Just last month I met up with some amazing women I met in an online group and had a fantastic BBQ.
Look at your lifestyle and try to figure out when and where you’d like to include other people in your schedule. You might find that you enjoy hosting dinners with your other single friends or Saturday nights!
6. DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT
Please do not spend your time as a single worrying about your next relationship. This is the time to focus on the things that make you happy, not things that stress you out for no reason.
Plus, most of the worries and fears we harbour about being single never actually happen, and we waste our thinking space by accommodating thoughts that have no place in our lives.
When I first became single, I was consistently worried about everything that came with that. Would I forever be alone? Am I never getting married? Will I never have children?
Are my eggs going to dry up and just fall out due to lack of use? Absurdity at its finest.
Don't worry if you're single. God is looking at you right now with intention, 'I'm saving her for someone special.' Click To Tweet
When I was approximately sixteen years old, I would daydream about the kind of future I was going to have. I’d meet the perfect guy, graduate from university, get married and live happily ever after.
When that dream didn’t go the way I had expected, I was lost. I thought that my window of opportunity had passed and I was no longer viable for Prince Charming.
If this is you, this is the time to let it go. Stop worrying. Your time will come. One day God will send the man or woman who is perfectly imperfect, and you’ll look back at this period of worry and laugh.
Worrying changes nothing and there are so many other, better, more productive activities you could be doing such as a hobby, taking yourself out, travelling or meeting other singles. I hope you see what I did there. 🙂
7. EMBRACE BEING SINGLE
Finally, embrace being single. Being single is an opportunity and a gift that many wish could have been extended for them.
This is an essential time for you as it gives you space and time you need to know exactly who you are and where you want to go in life.
We put so much emphasis on being in a relationship and being married that many have no clue how to handle being by themselves. If we don’t completely know who we are before entering into a relationship with another person, the relationship is bound for disaster before it even begins.
Think of this waiting period as a time to work on any internal issues and personality quirks that might want to be mended. Focus on other things in your life that you have going on.
It is 100% possible to be single and happy, and it is entirely possible to live a fulfilling life while being single.
Appreciate being single because that’s when you grow most…and with that growth, you will come to know what you’re looking for!
If you enjoyed reading learning the seven steps to being single and happy, then you would also enjoy reading this post about how to fully own your life and potential for greatness.
Also, do you think that you can be single and happy? Do you think you can be fulfilled as a single person? Comment below. Please also like and share this post, and join the community so you never miss a thing!
Until next time. Peace, love and prayers.