The Key To Making Good Friends As An Adult

The Key To Making Good Friends As An Adult

Making good friends has an incredible impact on every aspect of our lives. We are inherently happier, more fulfilled and healthier because knowing someone else is there to support us allows us to be our best selves and create the life we want for ourselves. But how do you make friends as an adult? How do you build these close, fulfilling relationships?

When I was younger, I had a difficult time making friends. I was super awkward and found it hard to express how I felt around people I didn’t know. The older I got, the harder it became and at one point I completely gave up. This might sound familiar. You’ve always struggled to make friends and now that you’re an adult it’s even more difficult. It could also be the exact opposite and when you were younger had tons of friends but find that making friends isn’t as easy the older you’ve become. In this post, I’m going to give you the key to making good friends as an adult and form lasting relationships.

“The best kinds of friendships are fierce lady friendships where you aggressively believe in each other, defend each other, and think the other deserves the world.” Unknown

 

Making Good Friends As An Adult

 

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LET GO OF ANXIETY AND FEAR

Talking to someone new can be a difficult situation to be in. Trust me, I know.

Whenever I had to introduce myself to another person, I would have an instant panic attack. It was horrific.

Anxiety and fear held me captive. It took me seeing another girl going through the same emotional roller-coaster to eventually overcome that. That’s when I understood that everyone has their own fears and anxiety.

Building good friendships is such a rewarding experience. Don't let the fear of them saying 'no' prevent you from trying to make connections. Click To Tweet

Making friends as an adult is hard but everyone wants to make friends too and they’re probably twice as terrified as you are. So just let it go.

Building good friendships is such a rewarding experience. Don’t let the fear of them saying “no” prevent you from trying to make connections.

It doesn’t even have to be an awkward experience. Have a nice sit down with them and strike up a conversation.

Put yourself out there. You never know. The next person you talk to could become your very best friend!

 

GET TO KNOW YOUR COWORKERS

We spend many hours of our lives at the office, so you would think that making friends at work a total no-brainer but nope. When it comes to the issue of adult relationships, only a fraction of the people we interact with at work actually become a part of our lives.

Be intentional about your actions and get to know your coworkers. Build a great relationship with them by opening up to them.

Take the time to hear and understand their story and their life. Find out if you have anything in common. So many millennials miss out on the opportunity to build lasting relationships at work because they’re too busy focusing on furthering their career.

What if you wake up one day, successful, but realize you have no-one to celebrate with? You don’t have any people. There is no greater joy than succeeding and knowing you have a tribe of amazing women right there cheering you on.

Make plans with a few of your coworkers after work. Grab some coffee with them on the weekends. Don’t be afraid to ask them out more than once.

Also, ask them to invite their friends along when you go out. This is a fantastic opportunity to make friends with their friends as well.

Take the time to nurture these opportunities into lasting friendships.

 

BE OPEN-MINDED AND TRY SOMETHING NEW

As I sat down trying to figure out the key to making good friends, a thought hit me. Many of us don’t have friends because we, one, aren’t open-minded in the least, and two, we are terrified of trying something new.

The issue lies in our own minds. We are standing in our way and that’s why we are so isolated and lonely all the time. But how do we get out of our own heads and move forward?

You need to get up and make yourself try new things. Take a walk around the city and talk to everyone you meet. Meet some strangers and just say hello with a smile. Ask them about their days and try to see if a spark ignites.

We are standing in our way and that's why we are so isolated and lonely all the time. Click To Tweet

Push yourself to go to places you don’t normally frequent. Find people you’d love to spend time with. Take a quick bus ride and talk to the person sitting next to you.

If you’re working from home this might be a bit more difficult since you spend the majority of your time inside. That being said you can still take this approach.

Leave the house, go to the local cafe and work from there, meet new people, volunteer during your spare time and talk to everyone who comes in.

The opportunities to make lasting, meaningful relationships are endless. We just need to be open-minded.

 

Related: 10 Simple Ways To Start Your New Year Right

How To Be Single And Happy In 7 Easy Steps

 

REACH OUT TO YOUR NEIGHBOURS

Making good friends is all about making the effort to connect. Click To Tweet

When I first moved out on my own, I have to admit that I was a bad neighbour. I never actually took the time to meet or talk to any of the people living around me.

I just went out to work or wherever and when I got home I went right into my house and closed the door. It was tragic.

Can you imagine how less isolated many of us would be if we just reached out to our neighbours (who are probably just as bored and lonely as we are)?

Take some time out of your evenings or weekends and knock on a few doors. Introduce yourself to them and invite them to your house to catch a movie or some coffee.

If you enjoy baking, this is a great time to showcase that. Bring them something you made and strike up a conversation. Making good friends is all about making the effort to connect.

Again, be intentional about this. One of the neighbours I met when I was younger later gave me a position in her company because of the effort I took to form a relationship with her and her family. I will forever be grateful to that woman.

You can also try your local community centre. Stop by after work or on a weekend when you’re free and connect with some of the people there.

It’s also a fantastic opportunity to take up a new hobby. When I joined my community’s hula team I met some incredible women and formed relationships even though I am nowhere near fluent in my Japanese.

 

JOIN ONLINE COMMUNITIES

I’ve probably mentioned this a few dozen times (lol) but I live on a small island in Japan that is only accessible by ferry. This situation makes connecting with other foreigners quite difficult and costly.

For many, this can lead to severe depression, but I have a solution that has worked wonders for me and can help you too. Join online communities.

With the increase in social media platforms, it has become easier to make good friends as an adult because we aren’t bound by time or distance.

There’s Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Meetup and so many more. There are also amazing communities that connect people with similar interests you might have.

If you are interested in Cosplay here’s a fantastic group of female cosplayers. I also know a great group of people who enjoy Japanese Tokusatsu (or live action superhero shows). The possibilities are endless.

Some of my best virtual female friends I met on Facebook. I share my thoughts and we bond over our experiences living in Japan as black women.

I’ve also recently joined a group of amazing Millennial Entrepreneurs putting themselves out there, taking names and kicking butt.

You can cultivate fantastic relationships online if you know where to look.

 

PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE

Above it all, you need to just learn how to put yourself out there. The key to making good friends as an adult really lies within you. If you don’t take a step forward, you’ll never get anywhere.

Knowing how to make good friends is also an important social skill you’ll need if you want to someday become a successful woman.

Let go of that lone warrior mindset and understand that to live your best life as a millennial woman you need to learn to foster good, healthy relationships.

Let go of that lone warrior mindset and understand that to live your best life you need to learn to foster good, healthy relationships. Click To Tweet

Take lessons from other successful women who have their very own squad of friends. Girl bosses Taylor Swift and Beyoncé know the value of a good friendship.

You don’t need to have tons of friends. You just need the right friends.


If you found the key to making good friends as an adult useful, then you will enjoy these tips to help build your confidence.

Also, let me know. Do you struggle with making friends? Are you willing to give any of these a try?

I love reading your comments and hearing your thoughts so please comment down below. Also if you have any questions feel free to ask me them in the comment section below. Please also like and share this post and sign up so you never miss a thing!

Until next time.

Peace, love, and prayers.

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9 Comments

  1. June 11, 2018 / 7:29 AM

    Love this! I live in Los Angeles, which in itself is very isolating and much different from the small town I grew up in where everyone knew each other. When it comes down to it, though, it’s my own fault for not taking advantage of the opportunities around me–my coworkers, my neighbors, etc. Plus I don’t call my existing friends often enough. You’re right that it really just takes a few extra minutes out of your day and can make a big difference in your overall happiness.

    • June 11, 2018 / 6:34 PM

      Thank you so much! I think as adults we just get so busy and we forget to make those fundamental connections that remind us how human we really are! Thank you so much for reading!

      • June 12, 2018 / 2:01 AM

        Absolutely. Too busy–that’s what it usually comes down to.

  2. June 12, 2018 / 9:26 PM

    Love this and definitely going to give it a try. I have a hard time making friends and so used to turning people down when they ask to hang out then wonder why they stop. It’s just anxiety but I’ll get over it and see how that goes. Thanks for sharing.

    • June 14, 2018 / 7:23 PM

      You are so welcome. I have been where you are in terms of anxiety but the great thing about these tips is that you’re just making small changes to the way you interact with others instead of huge, scary ones. These small changes tend to have a massive impact.

  3. June 13, 2018 / 8:58 AM

    I love this , I been in AZ for about 12 years and haven’t found any friends . I hope to implement these tips when I do.

    • June 14, 2018 / 7:21 PM

      Hey there! I know what it’s like but trust me if you try these tips out you’ll make so many new friends in no time!

  4. July 26, 2018 / 8:38 AM

    I don’t remember making friends as a kid–every one I met was just automatically a friend. After college, it gets a lot harder to find people to hang out with after work or on the weekends. Your advice to try and make yourself go places you wouldn’t normally go is a great idea for meeting people outside the office. I want some kind of app to help me make friends with people I wouldn’t normally run into on my own.

    • July 26, 2018 / 4:32 PM

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Yes, it can be so difficult to make friends as adults but going to new places has definitely helped me to overcome this issue. There might be a few apps in the google play store to help you out as well.

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